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- TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR US NOT WINNING AN EMMY
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- 10. L.A.P.D. crime lab mixed up the ballots
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- 9. CBS bribe check bounced
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- 8. We actually won, but the band failed the drug test
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- 7. Judges didn't want to hear another one of my speeches about the plight of
- Tibet
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- 6. Did away with our old category: shows that suck big-time
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- 5. Only been giving 109%
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- 4. Academy disapproves of my marriage to Anna Nicole Smith
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- 3. In case of a tie, deciding vote cast by this woman (VT woman eating peach)
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- 2. Judges sickened by astonishing number of times my name appears in
- Packwood diaries
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- 1. They've seen the show
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- Letterman, Monday, September 11, 1995
- Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1995
-